Mortal Advantages
by RainShadow
Summary: Bartleby and Loki, back in Wisconsin. Will Loki forgive Bartleby? Can he forgive himself? Slash, chicken noodle soup, and fluff ensue!
1. Lucky, lucky boys!

Warnings: Slash, language, sex (uh huh! ^_~ but not graphic)

Disclaimer: Neither the plot nor the boys are mine. Sadly.

A/N: I recently *finally* saw Dogma and now I'm hooked. So of course I had to write some slashy Loki/Bart fun, tee hee. The only reason it's chaptered is cuz... it works better that way. There's more of a break between the story, which I wanted. Enjoy!

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Mortal Advantages

1

_Loki was waiting for him in heaven._

Normally, that phrase would have been enough to send into conniptions of joy. But something needed to be added to that. A crucial, missing part.

Loki was waiting for him in heaven because he, Bartleby, had betrayed and killed him. That changed everything. *Everything*. And God, was Bartleby afraid that he had fucked it up with the one person in the entire *fucking* world who understood him, put up with him. Loved him.

And so he found himself in the place he had lost everything to get to. He had betrayed Loki. The Garden seemed empty without Loki by his side. The Divine Presence was below, on Earth, cleaning up the mess he had made, and now he was here, and there- his ghostly mortal heart jumped- there was Loki.

The angel- _no, human,_ Bartleby corrected himself- was lying on his stomach, idly picking at some grass at the foot of the throne. Waiting...

"Lo-" his voice caught in his throat as he was drawn over there. "Loki." He saw his friend tense up, but he didn't respond. Bartleby walked around until he was in front of the former angel of death. His blonde head was bowed, blue eyes staring intently at the grass. Bartleby collapsed onto his knees in front of him, praying to see his Loki, to see those beautiful, wholesome blue eyes that had always looked on him with tolerance, humor and love. "Please. I am *so* sorry, you have no idea-"

And then Loki looked up. And his face, his babyish, innocent face which he had so often been teased about ("sending the child to destroy mankind again?") was unrecognizable behind the mask of hurt and betrayal. Those deep pools of blue were filled with pain and hate. 

"Fuck. You." Loki said slowly, then looked away.

"Oh God," Bartleby moaned, stretching out on the grass and bringing his head close to Loki's in a desperate attempt for forgiveness.

And suddenly, God was there, sitting on Her throne and looking down at them sadly.

***What am I going to do with the two of you?*** She said.

"Please," he heard Loki beg. "Not Hell. Not Hell."

Bartleby's brown eyes went wide. Sure, maybe he deserved Hell, but not his beloved Loki. "Not Loki, you can't, it was me, *I* told him to quit, this was all my idea-" He was babbling now.

***You do realize you nearly unmade everything I created?*** Was that a note of... humor that he detected in Her voice?

"Sorry." he whispered, his mouth dry. "I'm sorry. I just... missed You." and to Bartleby's distress, a few warm tears rolled down his face.

She hummed a sorrowful tune, considering Her fallen angels' fate. ***There is a lesson to be learnt, Bartleby. I love all my children equally, only, the humans are as distinct in their needs as angels.*** She nodded to Herself firmly. ***You will be sent back to Wisconsin, but this time as humans. If you live your lives well and without sin, when you die, you may enter back into Heaven.***

The two former angels nodded, dumbfounded at their sentence. Bartleby couldn't believe how lucky he was to be getting off this lightly, with a chance to get back into Heaven--! And yet. Wisconsin. Again. At least it would only be for a short human lifespan. No more than eighty years. He could do this... If Loki ever forgave him. He glanced at his friend. Loki's face was hard and he was staring straight ahead. 

She winked at them. ***This time, be good boys.*** And there was a tugging as She left, panic //_NO!//_ then white light behind his eyelids~


	2. Back Home

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Mortal Advantages

2

~White faded to dim gray, and then color and an aching head welcomed him back to Wisconsin. Loki blinked his blue eyes, finding himself sprawled naked across the couch in their old apartment. Everything was the same; Bartleby's clothes strewn everywhere, the scorch marks of burnt toast from the time he had decided to experiment, even the cat was there, curled up sleepily on top of the tv. Something inside his body rumbled, and he felt... hungry! He was human! He glanced down and then did a double take. Fuck. He was a *man*! He grinned stupidly to himself until he heard movement from another room.

Bartleby emerged from his bedroom, rubbing his head and muttering curses, but he stopped short when he saw Loki. 

Strangely, Loki's first reaction was not the angry outburst both had been expecting. No, the first thing Loki noticed was that his companion was clothed- he had a pair of boxers on- and he was not. Heat flooded his face. Blushing fiercely, he groped for a shred of clothing. Trying to maintain an air of dignity, he slipped a random pair of shorts on. Bartleby watched all of this in silent amusement.

"Fucking Eve." he muttered. "What?!" he snapped, seeing Bartleby smiling at him.

Bartleby flinched. "Nothing." He rubbed his neck, and stood there for a few seconds, then suddenly launched into an explanatory outburst. "I don't know what happened, it was just- Azrael said they wanted to *kill* us, and then, seeing you drunk off your ass- like last time-, I just... I, the knife, you could *bleed* Loki-"

"You were on a power trip, and you killed me." His voice was raw and angry. "But you know what? That wasn't even the worst part." He saw Bartleby's look of confusion. "No, man, it was in the garage, do you remember? You don't know, you don't *know* what it was like to hear you- *you* talking like fucking *Lucifer*- it scared me. Christ! You scared me."

"I... wanted to go home."

"And look where that got you." his anger was evaporating.

Bartleby grimaced. "Wisconsin."

"We're lucky it's not Hell."

"Yeah... I know." he moved closer to Loki. "Listen. I'm- I'm really sorry. I lost it."

"You got that right."

"Loki-" he reached for him.

"Don't touch me."

"-!"

There was nothing but tired betrayal in the shorter man's stance. "I don't trust you anymore, B."

A choked sob. "I understand."

Loki nodded, a dead look in his eyes. "Good." and he sat down heavily. Bartleby remained where he was, trying to control his rampant human emotions, his hands clenched and his shoulders tense. Loki stared mindlessly into space as the silence between them became thick and tangible. But Bartleby couldn't leave, couldn't think of anything to do except to beg for Loki's forgiveness even though he *knew* he didn't deserve it.

Then something inside of Loki shattered and he curled up into a tight ball, sobbing and cursing unintelligibly. And Bartleby responded automatically, forgetting the earlier spoken words, distress rolling off him in waves. This wasn't...

"This isn't how it's supposed to be!" Loki shouted as Bartleby's arms closed around him, comforting him and holding him. He leaned into the other _//angelmanbeloved//_ no where else to go for solace than the person who had caused all the pain.

"I know." he whispered soothingly into strands of blonde hair. "I know."

Loki pressed his face into Bartleby's warm flesh, his fists pummeling Bartleby's chest in frustration and helpless grief. Bartleby closed his eyes and welcomed the pain, accepted it. He deserved it.

Loki was crying hard now and his words were slurred together. "I mean, you're my best friend! I'm supposed to trust you. I fucking *trusted* you and, and, it's like I can't even exist without you even when you... this... I can't *hate* you because I, because-" he heaved a great, shuddering breath, gradually calming down, and he stopped beating Bartleby's slim frame and slid his arms around his back, caressing lightly. Bartleby sighed, holding Loki close and rocking him gently. Loki sniffled. "My fuckng dose is stuffd," he whispered indignantly. Bartleby laughed weakly, kissed the top of his head, turned his face up and pressed his forehead against Loki's. 

Loki looked up into brown eyes full of guilt and sorrow. Bartleby's mouth quivered into a frown as he began to speak.

"I'm-"

"I know." he said tiredly, and he watched as relief flooded those warm eyes and now Bartleby was crying silently and the two stayed, wrapped up in each other and peaceful, for a long time.


	3. Sexy Loki

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Mortal Advantages

3

The next morning...

Bartleby woke to find that he and Loki were squashed together on the couch. Loki was draped over him like a living blanket, his blonde hair tousled adorably and his mouth hanging open. _//Cute//_ Bartleby thought, and then _//Fuck! did I just... aw fuck// _and he decided the most productive thing to do would be to go back to sleep.

Sometime later, Loki stirred and poor Bartleby, who had *nearly* fallen asleep, was suddenly super-aware of all the places their bodies touched. He kept his eyes closed, feigning sleep. Above him, Loki stretched and groaned.

"Mmm... what time is it?" he mumbled. He swept his hand down the side of Bartleby's face, so light a touch that he barely felt it. Loki leaned down and whispered into his ear, "Good morning," and Bartleby's pulse quickened. Loki rose to his feet and padded over to the bathroom. Only when he heard the door close did Bartleby open his eyes and attempt to breathe normally. _//What just happened?//_ he wondered, sitting up and feeling suddenly very cold without Loki's body heat. _//And what a nice body it is, too//_

"What the fuck?" he said aloud, shaking his head. There was this feeling, something he couldn't describe-

-and when Loki came out of the bathroom, his sleepy blue eyes flashing like a piece of summer sky, stocky body very nicely displayed in his boxers- the feeling intensified and he had the incredible urge to haul Loki into the bedroom and do very naughty things-

"Shit man, this sucks. Humans got the bad end of the deal, they have to piss all the time, they smell, they get *old*, plus I'm hungry!" he stopped in mid-rant as he noticed his dark-haired friend holding back laughter. "What?"

Bartleby snickered. "You're wearing my shorts."

Loki looked down in surprise ,"I am?"; saw that Bartleby was right. "Oh." He licked his lips and then glanced back up at him, eyes raking across the taller man's body. Bartleby's stomach jolted. He watched with apprehension as Loki sauntered over to the couch. "Do you want them back?" he asked innocently, fingering the waistband.

His mouth suddenly dry, Bartleby tried very hard to concentrate on something else. "No, that's okay," he said hurriedly, _//not looking, *not* looking//_ so of course he did and damned if that son-of-a-bitch wasn't wearing a sexy grin.

Loki shrugged and sat down next to him. "Whatever." Desperate to change the subject, he said optimistically, 

"I'm sure there are some advantages to being human, like chocolate cake and-"

Loki perked up. "Hey, yeah, we can drink!"

__

The knife flashed in his mind's eye, and the feel of warm blood spilling from Loki's body-

"Shit," Bartleby moaned, dashing into the bathroom and barely making it to the toilet as the contents of his stomach emptied themselves. Alarmed, Loki followed him in to the bathroom. Warm hands gripped his shoulders and gently stood him up. Bartleby reached for his toothbrush, trying to banish the powerful memory of a drunken Loki from his thoughts. "Ugh."

"What happened?" he asked

Bartleby wiped his mouth with a towel and said, "Let's not drink... for a while, at least." 

Loki's forehead crinkled in puzzlement. "Yeah, sure."

Bartleby nodded and then made a face. "That was fucked up."

"I guess that's another drawback to being human." he commented.

"What is?"

"Getting sick." His only answer was a groan. "Maybe you should lie down... and I'll make you some food!"

"Loki." Bartleby said as he was helped into his bed. "Do you remember the last time you tried to "make food"? The fire department came?"

A nervous chuckle escaped him. "Yeah, so? I've learned." Bartleby raised an eyebrow. "Fuck you, I have!" he insisted.

"We'll see. I don't really feel like eating, anyway."

Loki looked determined. "I know what you need. Rest, okay? I've got everything covered."

Bartleby sighed and fell back onto his pillow. Loki left and Bartleby dozed off to the sound of Loki puttering and clanking about in their little-used kitchen.


	4. Chicken Noodle Soup to the Rescue!

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Mortal Advantages

4

An hour and a half later, a triumphant former angel of death entered Bartleby's room with a flourish. He had with him a tray with a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup, crackers, and toast. (It had taken him a good while to discover the can opener.) "See! I- oh." he said upon realizing his companion was asleep. He set the tray down carefully on the nightstand, then turned and watched Bartleby. The dark-haired man was resting peacefully, looking the picture of contentment.

A few minutes later, Bartleby groggily opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was Loki looking at him with a sappy expression. "What're you doing?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Watching you sleep."

"Simple creature." he said affectionately.

Loki smiled lopsidedly. "Yeah. But look, I made stuff." And he presented his accomplishment proudly.

Bartleby tasted some of it. "Hey, this is actually good," he took another sip.

Loki was pleased. "Really? Great."

"You haven't had any?"

"Nah, I was waiting to see if you keeled over or something."

"Ah. Thanks."

"No problem." Loki yawned. "Man, I'm tired."

"Take a nap," Bartleby said distractedly. This was some good shit. "Is there any more of this?"

"Yeah, in the kitchen."

"Great." and Bartleby went off in search of more soup. He polished off the rest in about ten minutes, and then, tummy satisfied, he wandered back into his room. And stopped short in amusement. It seemed Loki had taken his advice, for there he was, one big tangle of golden limbs asleep on his bed. Bartleby felt that strange heat rise in him again, and this time he had a name for it: lust. He wanted his best friend, but Loki was more than that. Loki was...

"Mine," he whispered.

Loki shifted on the bed. "Yeah." he affirmed, turning and catching Bartleby's wrist as the startled man began to leave. Blue looked into brown, seeing uncertainty and fear. Loki pulled him gently onto the bed. "Yours." Loki's hands stroked soothingly down his body. This *feeling*, exciting and terrifying and so, so right... Bartleby relaxed, allowed himself to caress Loki's side gently, smooth and perfect. Then, as he followed the curve of a muscular hip, he felt a small flaw. _//What-?//_ He glanced down. And cried out. Beneath his fingers was a long scar.

"Shh..." Loki whispered, trembling slightly under Bartleby's touch. "It's okay, B, it's okay."

"No." he whispered, horrified.

"Yes!" Loki said, the force in his voice causing Bartleby to tear his gaze away from the aberration. "Listen to me, B, damnit! I forgive you, all right?" 

"Loki, don't-"

"Do you hear me? And you know why?"

"Don't say it-"

"Because I love you." Then, softer, "You asked me to quit-- we're sent to Wisconsin; you wanted to go home-- you kill me. Wake up, B, *I'm still here*. Like you said..." he whispered huskily, sliding Bartleby's hand back onto his scar. "I'm yours." and their lips met in a kiss that had waited centuries, millennia, to finally occur. It was like drinking the sweetest wine of heaven, and so desperately*true*. 

"Now, *please* fuckin touch me, and that's the only time I'll ask nicely."

"You don't have to ask twice..." he mumbled throatily, tasting Loki's sweet flesh. Loki moaned, arching up into him, thrusting his hips into Bartleby's, and a flash of pleasure spiked though him. He pressed down, nipping and kissing Loki's neck, so dizzy and unstable, like he was on the edge of some great secret.

"Fuck yeah!" Loki yelled, yanking at the clothing barrier between them. He succeeded, and all coherent thought abruptly crashed away from his body, bouncing outward and leaving him dying with sensation. Outside, his skin was burning, rich tendrils of heat coiling inward and igniting the slow blaze sizzling in his core. It was coming.... tight and hot _//loveyou//_- and came!

They lay, silent, in warm afterglow, clinging to one another like they had just witnessed the world being born.

"Okay, I take it back," Loki gasped.

"What?"

"Being human is fucking awesome!"

Bartleby laughed, felt his breathing slow down. "Yeah, but I coulda told you that after the soup."

"This is... nice."

"Yeah."

"But one thing's missing."

"Hmm?"

"I need some gum."

Bartleby rolled his eyes. "You should've tried the soup."

"Probably."

"It was good soup."

"Thanks!"

He smiled, then paused. "Hey. I can hear your heart beating."

"Fuckin' romantic sap."

"Yeah." 

A short silence.

"Love you, B."

He snickered. "Now who's the sap?"

Loki just shifted closer to him. Bartleby kissed his forehead gently.

"Love you too."

End

Damn it! Every time! Sappy ending! Gah! *hits head repeatedly* it's like I can't write anything else...

Review? ^__^ love ya!

~RainShadow


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